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49!

Facebook Status: Lacey Mae Harris is blogging her heart out. So here I go.

I'll try not to let you down. =]

Lately:

New apartment. Check.

Amazing friends: Kendall, Katie, Emily. Check. (That's to mention only a FEW)

Fantastic boyfriend: Dylan. Check

Bills up the butt: Check

Growing hair: Hellz Yah Boi, check

Lame ass job(s): Check

Shitty car: Check

New piercing: Check

New god daughter, Khloe Grace: Check

Best blog this side of the block, lipsticklullabies: Check

Out of ideas to write about: Getting there, ugh


A small compiliation of what I have going on. As you can tell, I tend to lead a rather boring life. But most of the time, I am more than okay with that. But I supposed I should delve into further detail with some of this list.

Ummmm, so. The friends thing is kind of a no brainer. Last weekend Katie and I made the great travel to De Pere, Wi to take my state board tests to get my license to become an official cosmetologist. Yippie! I won't find out if I passed or not for another week or so, but I'm feeling pretty confident =]

Boyfriend. Another no brainer. He's the absolute best, and I love every moment that we spend together. Today we went to the mall and out to dinner in Madison...good time. Hu Hot Mongolian Grill...I suggest it to anyone and everyone. Yum yum.

Oh, funny story about the mall....So I had to use the bathroom, but someone was taking their sweet time in one of the stalls, aka, pooping, and there was poo on the seat of the toilet in the other stall. So as Dylan is coming out of the men's room, I asked him if anyone was in there. He said no, so I ran in there quick to pee. Right after I get in the stall, a dude walks in to use the urinal. AWKWARD. I just stood in the stall and waited for him to leave. But as soon as I went to leave the stall, another dude walks in. Ha ha. Most awkward moment ever. But hilarious...I know they could see my evidentally girl flip flops and painted toes underneath the stall. Ha ha oops.

Other things: Bills. They make my life pretty exciting, and tend to take all of my every dollar that I earn each month. Ugh. And it doesnt help that I really don't like my jobs. So I'm looking for a new one, or two. Whatever works. Cross your fingers for me, and if you know of anywhere that will hire a pretty rad chick, let me know.

My cousin just had a baby girl at midnight on Wednesday night/ Thursday morning. Khloe Grace. She's such a doll. And I'm her god mother, yay! =] I can't wait to babysit. Babysitting is nice, because you can always give the kid back when you're done.

I got my nose pierced. Well a girl I work with at the salon, does piercings so she did it for free for me. No complaints there =] Oh! And I'm running low on ideas for the lipstick blog. Any ideas, questions, comments, concerns...let me know. Via text, email, myspace, facebook, blog, bottled message, postal mail, anything. I'm open for suggestions.

That's about all that I have going on in my life at the moment. Not very exciting, but I never promised exciting. Until next time Mr. Blog.

40 eight

So, as you know, my last blog was very lengthy and about weight. Blah blah.

Well to be honest, I haven't been feeling too great lately. And mostly about myself. I just haven't been very happy with myself. I'm happy in every other department in my life (except job, but that's not uncommon). I've just been facing some major personal struggles lately...and I'm not sure why. But it's making me extremely frustrated =|

So. I've decided that it stems back to this whole comment that Brandon made to me, and yes, I know that's it's dumb. And I shouldnt let it bother me, but truth of matter is, it does. SOOOOO much. To the point that I hate him. And I don't hate people, that's just not my thing.

I was talking to Dylan tonight, after a shitty day...and I was crabby all day. Which sucks because that puts him in a bad mood too, so I felt really bad. But he told me that I almost have this anorexic vibe going on. Like no matter how thin I get it'll never be good enough..I'll always see myself as being fat. And as shocking as that was to hear, he was really right. I know that I'm not fat and not obese...nothing of the sort. I'm not super scary skinny, nor do I ever want to be. But I don't think I'll ever be thin enough for the standards I have set for myself. Which is scary and stupid because I'm encouraging women all over to embrace their curves and love their bodies. But if I cannot love my own, what gives me the right to try and motivate other people to love theirs.

It makes me feel like shit when I step onto that scale and see a number that is too high for me. Keep in mind I haven't exceeded 140lbs for about a year. But that's totally unacceptable in my mind for my body. Why? I have no idea. Some days I love my curves and other days, I hate them. Hell, my boyfriend loves them and tells me I'm beautiful.

I'm going to start believing him. I've decided that I'm going to throw out my scale. It's an unhealthy obcession that I have with it. I think I weigh myself every day. Every damn day. That's no way to live.

I want to be healthy. That's my MAIN reason for working out and eating better. Health. So am I not counter-acting that by having this unhealthy obcession with what I look like?

Yeah, I am. So, I'm done with it. This is me changing and turning over a leaf. New me. 

Starting now.

chapter forty-seven

Okay, well where to start? I guess I should give you a little background information so this all makes better sense. 


From ages born to 8 years old, I was a fricken cute kid. Adorable. Born with black hair, and tons of it, that turned to platinum blonde by the time i was 3 or 4 with the biggest blue eyes. Super cute kid...and then. Well, I developed a unibrow and my hair turned into this dingy blonde color that wasn't very cute. And I was a little chubby. Not morbidly obese or even really overweight. Just chubby. I had and still kind of have, these 'chubby' cheeks. I just wasn't that cute anymore. That stage lasted from 5th grade to ohhh maybe sophomore year of high school. Then I started to get out of puberty somewhat and kind of find myself, well as best I was going to so far. I still had this issue though...I was still a little chubby.
I never really had a problem with my weight, or the way I seen myself. I never thought that I was chubby at all, and I was pretty confident with my body. I was always running around outside and doing this sport or in this club. I wasn't just sitting on my ass at home eating ho ho's and playing video games. I was active, and I ate healthy full course meals. (I grew up with my grandparents, who believe in home cooked meals for every meal) I mean, I knew that I wasn't the skinniest person, and I had friends who were skinny. Whatever, it didn't bother me and I learned to brush it off for a while...

I think I first started having weight issues when I got into 8th grade. There was this guy in my class, and not even a guy that I was the slightest bit attracted to, who called me thunder thighs. Now I have bigger thighs and a bigger butt, but by no means are they that deserving of the name, thunder thighs. But that's what he called me. And really for the first time in my life, I started to pay attention to my body. I noticed that I wasn't a 'skinny' girl. That summer I went to the doctor to have a physical because the next year I was going to go out for summer sports in high school. Whatever, no big deal. Well I have my physical and my doctor..who is a 'skinny bitch' tells me that I could stand to lose a few pounds. Ahhem. I was like 13 or 14 years old, probably 5'1" and at that time I weighed 125lbs. But I could lose a few pounds?!?!? By then, it was engraved in my head that I was 'fat'.

So years go by, and I have this thought in my head that I'm a chubby girl, and that if I were skinnier I would be able to date this boy and that boy. And I would be able to wear these clothes and this swimming suit. Ugh, frustrating. I graduate high school weighing I want to say around 145-150lbs. And about a size 10/12. Now I was chubby. After I graduated high school, I wasn't active in sports anymore so gaining weight was very easy. Not to mention my metabolism sucks like no other. I tried dieting and working out ocassionally, but I'm a pretty impatient person. So if something doesnt show result asap, then I quit. I tried starving myself once too..that lasted about two days..and then I realized how utterly ridiculous that was.

So in the summer of 2009 I became vegan. It was just a choice that I decided to make, kind of out of nowhere. It wasn't a way of dieting so much as it was being healthy. Diabetes and heart disease run in my family, and I want no part in that. Vegan, meaning no meat, eggs, milk, dairy, no animal by-products. I honestly ate rice, veggies, fruit and potatoes like no others. I never once starved myself though. I lost 15lbs. In roughly a month and a half. I started working out. Running 2-3 miles anywhere from 2-4 times a week. Lifting weights, and I just started to watch what I ate. I had never felt healthier or happier in my life. But I found that being vegan was really starting to put a strain on my body physically. I took a multivitamin, but I wasn't getting all the nutrients that my body needed, so I decided to become vegetarian instead. Which means I still don't eat meat ...

So there's the background info, here's my ranting and bitching:

I was on the infamous facebook and was chatting with a few friends. On this day in particular I was talking to a guy name Brandon Holsten, with whom I had a relationship with a couple years ago. We actually lived together, but it turned out he was a jerk and a huge momma's boy. Whatever. So him and I were just chatting and all of a sudden he asks me: are you still doing that vegan thing? My response: Well not vegan anymore, but vegetarian still. Him: Ohhhh, I can tell. Me: What do you mean? Him: Well, you've gained wait (he can't spell to save his life). Me: Um. Actually I haven't, still weight the same as I did this summer. Him: Well in your pictures it looks like you have. In the face and stuff. And I'm just being honest and telling you what you're boyfriend wouldnt tell you. When I saw you this summer you were skinny skinny. Me: This is why I broke up with you, youre such an asshole, etc etc.

From there he gets defensive and whatever and I blow up on him. Blah blah. Oh and his ex girlfriend decides to stick her nose into it too. What a joy. "but not in a mean way." Ahhh, okay??? SO..
Every woman and a lot of men are insecure with their bodies. It's a given fact, and it sucks. After Brandon insulted me, I cried. I called my boyfriend who then got pissed that I would let such a jerk ruin my day. He reassured me that I was not fat and that I had not gained weight. But eventhough he had reassured me, I still felt like shit. And I'm still mad at the fact that I let such a loser ruin my day. Brandon is a huge jerk, and I regret ever dating him.


This is why girls have insecurities abou their bodies. Because douche bags like him think that they are hot shit and can give opinions like that. The only person who can judge you, is yourself. And you shouldn't be that hard on yourself about your weight. Hell, everyone struggles with weight every once in a while, or you can be like me. And struggle with it your whole life.


Well I guess I'm not struggling with it persay. It's just something that I have an issue with personally. And that sucks. It was something that was almost put inside my head at a young age, and I'm trying my damnest to get over it. Oh, believe me...trying my absolute hardest.
I've wrote numerous blogs on this whole weight thing. And as much as I would like to say that this will be my last post on this subject, I know it will not be. This is a BIG deal. People die over this kind of thing. Yes, people die over a number on a scale. Whether it be the number is too big, or it's too small. We NEED to get over this subject. We need to move on, and be happy with ourselves. How can we do this? Well I'm going to give you some personal advice that tends to work for me most of the time.


1. I go to my friends or family for support. They would tell me if I was gaining an unhealthy amount of weight and they'd be brutally honest, in the nicest way, about it. Not like some douche bag Brandon who just wants to say I'm fat in the face because he's fat in the head. Ugh.
2. I look at myself in the mirror and DON'T pick out my imperfections, but rather my good qualities. And I make sure that I let myself know that I AM beautiful the way that I am.
3. I remind myself that things in my life, and with my body, could be A LOT worse. And I'm thankful that they're not.
4. Remember that you only live once, and you only have this very ONE body. You should love it for as long as you have it.
5. Why waste your time being self conscious and worried what other people think? You don't know how long you have on this Earth. I know that I don't want to die unhappy and worried about other's opinions continuously.
6. Just imagine how shitty the world would be if everyone were a size fucking 2 with fake tans and blonde hair. How lame would that be? Very.
7. Be happy. And love yourself. Because if you can't love yourself, then no one else can either.


I absolutely promise you on everything that is holy, that you ARE beautiful. Did you know that Marilyn Monroe...you know that gorgeous girl that men wanted and women envied..weight 140 lbs at her heaviest and 125 lbs at her very lightest. She was a size 10 in her days which would now roughly be a size 6 today. She was not anorexic. She was a healthy woman...minus the drugs. But you get my point. Plus size models are taking over the modeling world by storm, and those scary skinnys...well they're becoming scary and very unappealing. What guy wants to date someone who counts calories and exercises 13 times a week? Any guy that does is an absolute moron, and should probably jump off of a bridge now to save us all the trouble.


I want you to be happy with yourself ladies. Even on those days when you feel like you can't go on, and it's just the end of the rope for you. Just remember that I know you're beautiful, I know it. I don't think it. I know it. And I want you to realize that too.


Because curves are beautiful. Every last one of them. <3


Need more inspiration?? www.lipsticklullabies.com

Forty 6

Ahhh hem.

So sometimes when I'm at work, just sitting...well standing around, bored out of my mind. I like to ponder life and really analyze my own. In general I try not to think about life too often, because I think it can make a person go crazy...and it just causes too much stress.

Stress is a horrible thing most of the time. I mean don't get me wrong, stress, in certain situations can be a good thing. Cause motivation and whatnot, but for the most part, it's not a good thing. I tend to over analyze things which causes me more stress than I'd like to have in my life. But that's life, and life is hard. So I'll deal with it one day at a time. 

Back to what I was getting at I guess. I analyze life when I'm bored at work. 

I think about what I'm going to be doing in ten years and where I'll be at in my life. Will I be starting a family? Will I be married? Have a house? A cat? A car? A life? Who knows. 

I can remember about 2 years ago or so, I didn't really want any of these things. Well, I didn't want a family, I didn't want a house, and I sure as hell didn't want to be married. I swore up and down that I never wanted kids. Honestly. My justification was that there are so many kids in the world already that don't have homes, that I didn't want to bring anymore into this world...and if I did decide on having kids, then I would adopt. My thoughts had sensible reason. And the not getting married thing? Well to be honest, I was just screwed over so many times, that I guess it didn't seem logical to put myself on the line like that. How could I, Lacey Mae Harris, trust one person with my heart, for the rest of my life? I've seen so many marriages fall apart. Spouses cheat on eachother or they simply fall out of love with one another. Ugh, that wasn't something that I wanted in my life....

But now, at 22 years young, I could see myself doing all of these things and so much more. Isn't it amazing how one day you'll wake up, and have a complete different outlook on life? That's happened to me several times, and each outlook just keeps getting better with time. I know that in 10 years time, or less, I would like a family. I want to be married and I DO want to have kids. I think I would still like to adopt as well. Because I do still have that same thought about there being too many kids without homes in the world. And if I can help at least one by sharing my home and my heart, then, hell yeah. I want to do that. Why not?

And as for the marriage thing. Yes, I've seen many relationships fall apart. But that's because those people, were...well kind of...I'm searching for a nice word here. Well I guess immature, and maybe not confident enough with themselves to give away their heart to someone else. I truly believe that you have to be confident and love yourself before you can fully give away your heart to someone else. I dont know, it just makes sense to me. So yeah, I could and want to do this marriage thing someday.

Hmmm, well I suppose. Those are my thoughts and my analysis of my life tonight....for now. Oh, and I'd like a cat too.  =]

Forteeeeee Fiiivee

Tomorrow Im going to celebrate Easter with the fam. Should be a good time. Lots of great food, games, and family...ahh some of the best things in life. =]

So I have a job interview on Monday and I really hope that it goes well. Because if this I get this job, I will be able to quit my other TWO jobs and just stick to one job. You know how long it's been since I've had just one job?? Hell, I can't even recall. I've been working my ass off since I was able to drive, and have had a consistent job since. Ugh. Work work work. That seems to be all that I do, and can you guess where I'm at currently? Work. At least it's a slow night. Thank god.

What to blog about? Sometimes I feel kinda boring when I try to write a blog on here, like I have nothing going on in my life. Well I guess I really don't have too much that really goes on....which I shouldn't be complaining about, because I could have a lot of bad poo happening to me. Instead I have a whole lot of nothing going on, oh well.                

I will prove to you how boring and blah my life is...What did I do today? Well let me start at the beginning of my day.

I got off of work, from my 3rd shift job, at 7am. Drove home, then proceeded to lay down in bed. Before I was even able to cuddle up with my boyfriend to go to sleep, I get a phone call from a girl at work who wanted me to come in and work for her because, something blah blah with her kids. Ugh. And because I would feel guilty if I didn't go in, I went in at 10:30 am. So I maybe got a max of 45 minutes of blissful, yeah right, sleep. Worked, cut, and colored hair until 6pm tonight. Made a losey 30$ in tips, then drove home again. Cuddled under my blankets for a good two hour nap, and now I am at the, oh so great, 3rd shift job again until 7am. Joy. 

So that concludes my day. A whole lot of nothing-ness. But I have the next two entire days off, and yes I said, WHOLE days off. And two in a row to top that off! Oh em gee, I'm about to pee my pants with excitment. Ha ha.

This concludes my blogging until next time.