Chapter 12

Sometimes I like to write.

Whats fair
and
what isn't?

is it fair to be told one thing
but show another?

is it fair to fall in love
and not get it in return?

is it really better to have loved and lost
than to have never loved at all?

is love really unconditional?

is it fair to give your heart away
only to watch it be stepped upon?

is it fair as i look into your eyes once more
knowing that i'll never see them again.

never see them smile or shine my way
ever again.

is it fair for you to say you love me
but leave me.

love is not fair.
there are no answers.
no easy ways out.

love is not real.
it's made up and hopeless.

is it fair to have found a soulmate.
a being opposite of yours.

to only watch them walk away.

why do i show my ture emotions
while you keep yours hidden?

is it fair for me to be real with you
but not get the same in return?

is it fair to lead someone on
and not care?

is it fair to be a coward
to give excuses of why you cant try.

cant try to love me

love is not fair.

Just a poem i wrote. idk i kinda like it. =]

Chapter 11

Ummmmm.......

So I pretty much hate my job. I work at a hotel. At the front desk.

And people are SOOOOOOO RUDE!

You're supposed to be on vacation people. Let's not forget that. And ahhh I can't control everything freakin thing that happens to you while you're on vacation.

So do not take it out on me. GEEEEZ.

Anyway. On a lighter note.

I got my sternum repierced. And....I love it! I'm just hoping this one doesn't reject like it has before. blah blah.

OH did I mention that I'm still head over heels for this awesome guy who doesn't live in Wisconsin. Yeah yeah. Some may say I'm retarded for waiting. But whatever. I'm a loser I guess.

Sometimes. ha ha ha.

Marley's this weekend! I cannot wait. =]

Chapter 10

Ha ha. Kendall and myself at work. These are our foreign lady faces.

Well well...it's been a few days.

Ugh. I can't wait til I'm done with school. I'm so sick of it right now. It's just getting on my nerves.

Everything about it!
OH well.
So yes.

I just started this new diet thing. It's called the raw food diet. And it's just like it sounds. Basically I'm thinking about becoming vegan. No dairy, no meat, nothing cooked over 116 F. Yah, we'll see. I'm only on day 4. But going strong!

Have you read the Twilight Saga?
I'm in love with it. Oh.
I think I found my Edward Cullen. =] Maybe. teehee.

Welllll that's all the randoms I have for now!

Chapter 8

Sometimes I don't understand how things work. In particular, life. But things happen for a reason right??

So I'm hoping.


Why else would be tempted with something that could be so great, just to have it taken away. there's a reason, that's the only explanation.

But at the same time, it's so hard to deal with.

So, i think for now, i'm going to try and forget about it...well maybe not forget, but push it to the back of my mind. It really hurts to know what i can't have right now, and to think of it all the time, hurts even worse.

Oh, and to make things even better, i don't know who my true friends are anymore. I know a few of them, but someone who claimed to be my 'best' friend, turns out not to be. Hmm.

not cool. but not my choice.

So i just have to plan out my future a little different, that's all. move out of this hell hole by myself. i can do this.

Time will tell what will happen.