I realize now that i will never ever understand the opposite sex. they will always being foreign to me. they will always make me feel like shit and rarely feel good. this is a sad truth that i've come to realize...i've also come to realize that there is nothing i can do about it.
and maybe i dont want to do anything about it anyway. who came up with this idea that i need a boy in my life to be happy. honestly! who put this idea into my head? because it's driving me up a fucking wall.
i dont want to think about boys allll the time. and i've come to realize that, well i guess i honestly haven't come to realize much of anything. i know friends are all that should really matter in life but...
it's so hard when a guy is telling you how cool you are and how much he likes you one minute and then the next he really doesnt have any feelings for you at all. what the hell? did i miss something? you CANT just tell me how awesome i am and i'm the coolest chick you've ever met and then a day later have completely different feelings for me.
that's what you get when you let your heart win. you get to be some stupid girl, who comes off as being desperate.
why should i be faced with such stupid things. i know it'll just make me stronger and whatnot. whatever. i'm strong enough. i want to be through with stupid crap. want to be done with it! i've built up so many walls around me, that i dont know when to put them down and when im supposed to keep them up. it just doesnt make sense to me....oh well.
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