26!

So at this point, I would be thinking that I should start to have some stuff figured out. I mean at least some things. But I keep questioning myself, and in turn, accomplish nothing.



Ugh.



I just dont' understand. I'm going to rant for a paragraph and most of it isn't going to make sense to anyone else who reads it, but to me it will...



I just dont understand. I want it to be better for you and i think i know how it's possible to achieve that and yet you dont take advantage of it. I mean its your choice and I cant do anything about it. But honestly. Ugh. Grrr. It makes me so frustrated. And this is how i feel it's going to be. im just going to be there for you when you need me and thats it. and of course i will be. because that's what friends do. they're there for eachother. but what if i want to be more than just there for you. what if i want to be always there. and i know now that that's not what you could ever want because you're stuck on something that's not good for you. if it's, if she's, so good for you, then why does she cause you so much pain and confusion. Love isn't confusing. love is kind and caring and just there. it's so simple. but i guess it's not for you. i mean, you're not the only one with problems, with issues and stuff going on in their life. shit happens. It kills me to know that you stick around and put up with something like that.



you dont have to.



But whatever.

So im just going to have to let go. I dont know whether its healthy or not, how easily I can break a connection with a boy. I mean, how easily I can start to get over someone? I guess that just proves how uncertain life can be? I have no idea. I just know that I can't wait around. I've learned that lesson before...I waited and waited and then he moved a thousand miles away, wanting nothing more from me than friendship.

So I can't let it be like this again. And I won't. I won't put myself in that situation anymore, and I wont put myself on the line like that again. Moving on. Okay.

Chapter 25

Aren't the chances and choices we make in life, what make up the person we are today?

Yes.

And we should take these chances and make these choices, because if we don't then nothing is going to happen. We're going to come to a stand still in life. And far too often I think people complain that their life is too boring and blah blah. I think they're complaining because they're not taking these chances and making these indefinite choices.

You cant and shouldn't sit by and watch your life go by. You should be a part of it. I've decided to be a part of my life. And the choices I make may not be the right ones, but at least I'm making them.

Quitting my temporary second job may not be a good choice, and hell I kind of know that it's not, but I would rather be poor, than unhappy. Any day. And at the moment, I am poor and at the moment, I am happy.

Karma has a funny way of working and I totally believe that it does work. What goes around comes around. Which may not always be a pleasant thing, but it's a true thing.

So love one another and take chances and make choices.